Last night Ross, F1 & I sketched out the next Harold & Kumar movie. It starts out when two of our three protagonists come to believe there is a Dunkin Donuts franchise somewhere in the valley, towards which they set off, and many mad escapades are had. As it turns out, however, the nearest Dunkin Donuts is, in reality, in Phoenix. You know, in Arizona? That place that isn’t in the valley?
Nonetheless, destined for warm donuty goodness, the protagonists do not rest until their cravings are duly satisfied by a reasonable Dunkin substitute. It turns out it takes roughly two hours to do this, although it does provide a very scenic mosaic of the valley. Three times.
The morale of this epic movie is:
- Don’t trust F1 & Ross whenever they suggest going anywhere. :P
- Don’t trust F1 or Ross to navigate their way out of their own apartment.
- Don’t trust Google Maps and their completely bogus, completely made up data. Really. Their address led us right into the middle of a residential area that has never seen a commercial building. Ever.
- Don’t try to navigate unknown highways in a Honda Civic. You’re just not big enough; you will be squished by SUVs. I recommend one of these for optimum travelling enjoyment.
- Don’t park near Christmas tree farms.
Naturally, temporarily sated, two of our protagonists realised a Christmas tree sale was being had only across the street. Naturally, they absolutely had to “just go have a look”. This part of the movie is pretty dull – here we introduce the potential female counter-protaganist, but it turns out she has an unhealthy obsession with pinecones – but suffice to say shortly thereafter there was a seven foot tree strapped to the roof of said Civic with – in a nutshell – industrial fishing wire.
All in all it’s a promising story that falls down for lack of genuine excitement or character development – lots of initial potential, but it runs a bit long and has no real conclusion.