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- Choose random animal. Bonus points for reptiles and fish.
- Invent some completely ridiculous way for them to mutate. Bonus points if it involves human growth hormone.
- Kill exactly half your main cast in the first twenty minutes.
- Ensure the worst actress on staff survives the entire movie as the luckless heroine.
- Set everything on fire. Bonus points for “electric” fire. Extra bonus points if you electrocute the earth. The entire earth.
- Make sure not to annoy audiences by building suspense or similar… jump incoherently from one scene to another.
- Ensure the finale is completely inconclusive. Bonus points if it’s clearly not because of an impending sequel, but sheer ineptitude of the writers.
- Show every night for three weeks.
