I think I mentioned a little while ago that I cop a surprising amount of flack as a result of things I write here. Quite often it’s about things that I never even slightly anticipated being an issue. Then last week I apparently put Sarah out quite a bit with my write up on paintball. I keep meaning to go re-read it to see if her offence was reasonable, but haven’t gotten around to it yet.
Anyway, it made me think again about what I’m doing here with this. First and foremost it’s my own record, for myself, of my thoughts and experiences. As such, it can only be honest; no point lying to or misleading myself. That is, sadly, at odds with it’s status as public. I like the transparency of it being public, since I like to think it gives interested parties some insight into me, but it’s more and more often causing problems. I was very tempted, until just now, to call it quits. I maintain a private journal as well, into which go all the entries I know are going to be more trouble than they’re worth, and I’m finding myself putting more and more into there. Or at least, intending to; all in all my motivation to write is waning as a result of these problems. Thus why the only entries in the last month have basically been factual records of events, and less my opinions on stuff. And they’re still getting me in trouble.
So I was going to pack it in, but then I started reading back through some of my older entries, and was pretty pleased with it all. They reminded me of a lot of good things I’d forgotten, as I’d hoped they would when I’d written them, and I feel good again, now, about this whole thing. Well, somewhat. The fact that Sarah and others are going to read this, know they’re being spoken of, and then have more issues with it, is still annoying.
So I think I’m going to press on. My tendency at this point is to figure that if these things are such big issues with some people, then that’s a shame, but that’s just the way it is. It’s still very stressful, though.
